Imagine sitting in a circle with a group of people, passing around a special object – maybe a stone or a feather. When it’s your turn to hold it, you speak. Everyone else just listens. No interruptions, no advice, no judgment. Just people really hearing each other.
This is a Talking Circle, something Native American communities have been doing for generations. And there’s a reason it’s lasted so long – it works.
We all know what it’s like when life gets complicated. Your thoughts are all over the place, you can’t seem to communicate properly with anyone, and you feel like nobody really understands what you’re going through. That’s exactly when something like a Talking Circle can help.
How It Works
It’s pretty straightforward. People sit in a circle and pass around an object. When you’re holding it, you talk. When you’re not, you listen. That’s it.
But here’s what makes it special: when it’s your turn to speak, you get everyone’s full attention. No one’s checking their phone, planning what to say next, or trying to solve your problems. They’re just listening.
And when you’re the one listening, you’re not waiting for your turn to talk. You’re actually hearing what the other person is saying. It’s amazing how rare that is these days.
Why Sit in a Circle?
The circle means everyone’s equal. There’s no head of the table, no one sitting higher than anyone else. Everyone can see everyone. It’s a simple way of saying we’re all in this together.
Sometimes there’s someone guiding things, sometimes not. What matters is that everyone gets their turn and everyone’s voice counts the same.
Want to Try It?
Here’s how you can experience a Talking Circle yourself:
Find an existing circle Lots of communities run Talking Circles for different reasons – dealing with grief, solving conflicts, or just connecting with others. Have a look online or ask at community centers near you.
Create your own You don’t need anything fancy. Just get a few people you trust together. Sit in a circle, light a candle if you want, and pick something to pass around – a stone, a shell, whatever feels right.
Set some ground rules
- What’s said in the circle stays in the circle
- No interrupting or giving advice unless asked
- Everyone gets a turn if they want one
- It’s okay to pass if you don’t want to speak
Just be real Don’t worry about saying the right thing or sounding smart. Just say what’s true for you.
What Makes It Powerful
The Talking Circle might seem too simple to make a difference, but that’s exactly why it works. When you slow down and really listen to people – and when they really listen to you – things shift.
Maybe you’ll understand a problem differently. Maybe you’ll feel less alone. Maybe you’ll realize someone you thought you had nothing in common with is going through the same stuff you are.
Sometimes people cry. Sometimes they laugh. That’s all fine. It takes guts to share what’s really going on with you, and it takes strength to hold space for others to do the same.
The Talking Circle reminds us of something we often forget: sometimes the best thing we can do for each other is simply listen. No fixing, no advising, no competing. Just being there, together, sharing what it means to be human.
